See the world for the first time
by Sunny Ice
Summary: A child can stun a parent, Richard Castle is in awe everyday when his daughter Alexis makes his world spin. Songfic "Matilda" by Martin and James


**AN: This one goes to every parent and every child out there, who knows what it's like to sacrifice everything to see her/his next akin happy. And that it could never be a real sacrifice.**

Disclaimer: (because catspats seemed to have missed it) I don't own any rights for the series "Castle" or the lyrics of the song "Matilda". I write fanfiction to show my appreciation for the creators of art, especially songfics for the appreciation of the music made.

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><p>The night Meredith had left him for more than just a few days he knew.<br>He knew that this was the ultimate point to grow up. Not be the mature in a relationship and not not freaking out about having a daughter at a young age like he does now.

_*I'm high above you in the sky,_  
><em>you've got the wings of a butterfly*<em>

Alexis Castle.  
>Meredith didn't protest as he gave the nurse in the hospital this name to write down on the certificate.<br>Seems like the things were settled even then.  
>He was the one to look after the little bundle.<p>

_*every day you live for more,_  
><em>you got bigger than the one before*<em>

It was exiting, sure; but the nights when she woke up and didn't need a new diaper or another bedtime-story, but wanted to drink and his wife just swatted his hands away, not wanting to get up, were excrutiating.  
>Still, every new day he seemed like seeing a completely new Alexis. She fueled him witht the streght he needed with one single look of her eyes.<br>Alexis learned so much, laughed when he did, cried when she hurt herself and got big eyes when he showed her a magic trick.

_*It's so hard leaving,_  
><em>but I have to say good-bye*<em>

Those words shocked him.  
>How could Meredith walk away from all this?<br>How could she not want to spend every waking minute with the little wonder they made?  
>He should have seen it coming. All the nights she stayed out with friends/, all the weekends she spent somewhere else.  
>He knew all th truths, but decidedly ignored them.<p>

_*The world I'm seeing is all in Matilda's eyes*_

Sure, he met with his friends too. An afternoon, when Alexis slept he asked his mother to look after her grand-daughter. She'd been the first woman to be intrigued with the tiny little girl. Whenever he'd need a break, he could relent on his mother to be there.  
>Martha was never a big fan of Meredith, but Alexis was in her eyes 'At least one good thing this woman did in her life'.<br>She would never walk away from his world, from his daughter.

_*Oh Matilda*_

Alexis seemed to be brilliant.  
>When she was only one year old she stumbled towards the park bench he was sitting on and presented him one leaf of every tree in the park she had collected, telling the correct name of every single one of it. She'd remembered them all.<br>At this day he knew she would have a great life. He would be there to make sure of it.

_*I see the world in black and white while you see it for the first time*_

An old lady with a dog, a guy selling hot-dogs.  
>Alexis started to cry as she heard him hollering throught the street.<br>As Rick asked her what was wrong she told him that this bad man just couldn't torture little doggies and sell them.  
>He wanted to laugh.<p>

But he didn't. To him it was ridiculous, he never thought of that name similarity. But his daughter, never having heard of it, she was scared by that.  
>And it was just stunning. Seeing his world with her eyes and discovering it all from the beginning.<p>

_*You paint the colours one by one,_  
><em>I circle round you like the sun*<em>

She decided to redecorade the loft. With candy. She opened all the packs of sweets she could find and placed the contents on every furniture she was able to reach.  
>He was out, letting the triade of his publisher wash over him for yet delaying another novel.<br>But how could he write about dark alleys and criminal minds, when he was inventing stories with unicorns, leprechauns and rainbows in it? He didn't even care about his fans some days. He himself was the biggest fan of his littlest star.

_*It's so hard leaving,_  
><em>but I have to say good-bye*<em>

It was very emotional, there was a lot of tears.  
>Alexis was fine, by the way. She was eager to explore the school as well as she did with any other place in the last and first six years of her life.<br>Martha peeled Rick's hand from her grand-daughter's.  
>"You need to let go," she said and wiped a tear from his eye as they watched her rushing in the building without looking back once.<br>"I know," he just said. "But what if something happens to her? What if she-"  
>"Stop-," Martha held up a hand "-right there, Richard. You can't assure yourself she's alright everyday from now on. You'll just have to have faith in her." She turned away, intended to go back home. "Unless you hide in the bushes all day long," she murmured, not meaning it.<br>She regretted uttering it a second after, when she realized something after a few paces when he wasn't behind her: He would do exactly that.

_*The world I'm seeing is all in Matilda's eyes*_

With the time Alexis got her own routine: She'd get home, tell her father about her day and what she'd learned, eat lunch with him and after doing her homework on her own desk in his study while he was writing (or just staring into nowhere, thinking about how he finally found a female who'd stick around and take him just the way he is) and then they did something fun together. Whatever game she wanted to play.

_*Oh Matilda*_

He actually picked up writing again.  
>The good scenes were his hopes when he got to be out more often, sitting in bars watching people or chatting at the poker-tables he and his friends held.<br>The bad scenes were his fears, the dark things his mind produced whenever Alexis was not at home or withins reaching distance. A little girl in a big city with lots of bad guys. But she'd told him that she was big enough, that she could make her way home alone. Didn't keep him from being afraid. And her from sighing defeatedly and signing in for a self-defense-class.

_*It's so hard leaving,_  
><em>but I have to say good-bye*<em>

He learned to let go, happy that she came back everytime to his home unhurt.  
>She was a clever girl, never letting anyone bring her down and having an answer to everything.<br>Her world wasn't party, taking risks and raising the stakes like he, his mother or Meredith would.  
>Alexis had her goals and her ways to reach them without haphardharzly putting all she had on the line.<br>She had her savety net. And when that wasn't enough she had her save haven. Her home.

_*Oh Matilda*_

And she was growing up so fast.  
>Other people were seeing how old they had become by looking in the mirror. He just needed to look at this daughter. Though he never felt old. The more she grew up, the more she behaved like an adult, the more he let loose, watching her life from the distance of his own.<br>He was now allowed to attend parties, stay up late and charm women.  
>Because they both knew he'd brag with his daughter rather than his books there, get up in the mornings to make Alexis breakfast and wish her a nice day and never let her have a clue about if he slept alone that night or not.<p>

Right now as Richard Castle looked in the eyes of his daughter Alexis Castle waiting for an answer, he knew. He just knew that he never had to search for the most important woman in his life. It has been his mother for (too) long. But now was every move Alexis didn't feel comfortable with her father taking, one he didn't take.  
>And if his daughter doesn't like the woman he intended to marry, then he wouldn't even propose.<br>Because nothing was as important as seeing his almost-grown-up daugther, his little girl after all, happy.

x-_-x

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you for reading, this came from my heart, and I really want to know that I'm the only one loving their children till no end.<strong>

**Please review (or pm me:-)**


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